Beauty and the Beast

Illovo

Last Saturday I moved out of the B&B and into Mark’s place which is very near to the SANERI office, but 30-45min away from Re-Solve in Roodepoort. So I split my time 3-4 days at Re-Solve and the rest at SANERI.

I call Mark’s place ‘the palace’. My bathroom is the size of what my room was at the B&B. I have a closet that is bigger than mine back home, a balcony that is about 700 square feet, and a great room with TWO very comfy beds (although I have only sampled one). He is away in the U.S. now so I moved in when he had already left. I am paying for some things here but he is being super kind to let me stay at the palace for a nominal charge (he reminds me often what a small, nominal charge it is). He is a little funny though, because for some reason, he has 3-10 items of some things (ex. giant sized Kraft peanut butter jars) and all 3 are opened, yet unfinished. Same with the Kraft dinner boxes – he has about a dozen of them and 4 or 5 are opened. Same with the Cheerios boxes of cereal. All 5 are opened (why would you have 5 boxes of Cheerios AND have them all opened? Are there cereal elves hiding behind the fridge?). All have some amount of cereal left in them, and the cereal that is left is all stale. Strange. But there’s a lock on my bedroom door so when Mark comes back, it’s still all good.

I gave Mike (at Re-Solve) his van back so I am now renting for $12/day an old Toyota Camry beater of a car. It has dents everywhere, no air-con, no radio, no seat head rests and smells like an elephant after a rainy day. But what makes me laugh is it has a safety lock on the gear stick so it won’t get stolen. Seriously?

I emerge from the palace in the morning feeling like a million bucks after having passed the formal dining room, the formal living room, the spacious tv room on my way to eat breakfast in the Italian-tiled kitchen while gazing out at the pool and manicured garden (after the live-in maid has cleared the dishes and hung my laundry up to dry). Then I open up the garage door and alas, am reminded of how poor I am as I get into my rumbling Toyota. I admit – it’s kinda fun. I feel like I’m sitting on the floor of the car it is so low. And I am always going to flick the turn signal on and turn the windshield wipers on instead (because it’s on the opposite side of the steering wheel). I get into stitches of laughter all by myself in the car because it’s so silly! Beauty and the Beast.

I visited the church of Jack Nicklaus this morning at one of his signature courses call Houghten. I hired a caddie whose name was George (or that’s what this Zulu called himself). He said he was 90 years old but the other caddie Jimmy said he was 80. What’s 10 years? Just like the 3 feet to the left of the pin that he would direct me to which was really 1 foot. What’s 2 feet? I personally was afraid that he was going to collapse. He could barely make it up hills. It gave new meaning to the punchline of the golf joke “Hit the ball, drag George”.

I played with 2 guys who hooked me up to some other courses and potentially to some cheaper tournaments that they said they would invite me to. That’s mighty nice of ya, sir! Count me in!!

By the way, every day here (EVERY DAY) is sunny and 25-30C. Perfect, perfect, perfect golf weather. It’s outstanding. And Sunday totally made up for my Saturday where I was just too tired to do anything so I just hung around (which makes me feel worse). I watched cricket most of the day if that’s any indication to you of what my mental state was. Not a good day.

Next Thursday I fly to Cape Town to see this amazing city that I have not heard ONE bad thing about to visit with Graham that I used to work with 15 years ago. We are both looking forward to seeing each other again after such a long time! Everyone has asked me to please make sure I come back to Joburg because Cape Town is so lovely. I have some Re-Solve meetings on March 22, 23 and 24 and I hear one of them is in wine country. P-E-R-F-E-C-T. Then Mike may have a trip up to East Africa to Nairobi to present the UN Habitat climate change adaptation and mitigation plan that they (and I, a bit) have been working on. I asked if I paid my way, if I could attend and he said “yes”. So the tentative plan after I get back from Cape Town on March 26 is to fly to Uganda on the 27th for a utility meeting and then to Kenya (Nairobi) to present to UN Habitat. If I fly all the way East, I will stay to either visit Zanzibar or go on a safari in the Serengeti. It’ll break the bank for the month, but what the heck, right? They say the Serengeti is like Kruger National Park but on steroids. Unfortunately, the one million animals (not exaggerating on that number) that migrate… ummm….south?....north?....only happens in August so I won’t get to see that. But apparently, it is worth it all the same. And to see the traditional Maasai people. I think that would be thrilling.

So if you don’t hear from me for a few weeks after the 17th, I did NOT get eaten by a lion. I am spending some time travelling and seeing the country and hopefully, another little corner of Africa. They say that South Africa is not Africa (because it is ‘industrialized’ – and I use that word very loosely). So I would like to say that I’ve seen the real Africa, and for me Uganda and Kenya would be my chance.

At work, I’m learning a lot about water conservation and water-demand management. The energy crisis in South Africa is alive and well so it provides LOTS of opportunity if you’re somewhat experienced in the field. South Africa has experienced a tremendous ‘brain drain’ and people 10 years my junior are running their own successful businesses. To start to tell you about the politics here would be too long of a story. Suffice to say that this country needs talented people who are interested in rolling up their sleeves, ignoring the setbacks, and are intent on pushing forward to create a positive future. Believe me, there is a lot of crap in this country, so this is not for everyone. But the talent who have stayed in this country have the right attitude – they have to.

Back to the energy crisis. There are already some communities that are expanding where the utility (an absolute monopoly that has the respect of no one) can NOT supply them (and it’s not a rural community). Imagine that. Don’t we get impatient when we lose our electricity for 5 minutes? Imagine not getting it at all. P.S. it’s not unheard of to call someone and have their number not working or the network say it’s busy. And their phone number can be down for days. There is just NOT a lot of capacity here and between you and me, I don’t think it will get resolved quickly enough. I think South Africa is going to be in for a lot of hurt.

By 2015, the greater Johannesburg region will be maxed out with their water supplies, and by 2025, the whole of South Africa will be maxed out. What does that mean? That every drop of water that falls from the heavens either in terms of snow (in the mountains of Lesotho) or rain that gets reserved in their dams, will be accounted for with respect to the size of the population. That means that if one more person demands water or they don’t get the rain they bank on getting, there will be major shortages.

Here is a very clear indication that this country is experiencing a water crises: this is a true story that appeared in the paper 2 weeks ago from the Eastern Cape of South Africa where they are experiencing severe drought. A man went to turn on his pool pump in the morning and when it sounded ‘not right’, looked out in his backyard and saw that his inground pool water had been completely stolen. Oh yeah. You heard me. Some ingenious thieves had parked a buckie (that’s their word for a pick-up truck) with a tank on the back of it on the road beside his property. They got a hose into his pool (over the fence and likely over the electrified security wires) and used a hand-pump to siphon the water out. Being a spoiled-water-rich Canadian, could you ever in your wildest dreams imagine such a thing? Now that’s what I call a water crisis. My comment to that? If these thieves used half of the ingenuity that they used to get that water out of this guy’s inground pool, they could really make something of themselves.

I don’t know if the rate of crime will ever get dwarfed against the rate of progress. At the moment, it seems not anytime soon. And that’s a sad thing for a country to face. But the organizations I’m working for are positive, and I think that’s what you need to stay sane here.

I was told this week that 18,000 people die every year – not the crime rate, but the traffic accident rate. The majority of these are South Africans that walk the roads and highways and stand in the middle of busy intersections to try and sell you stuff. I know the country is 44 million strong, but to me, that’s still a staggering number of pedestrian deaths. Makes New York City look like a walk in the park, doesn’t it?

Speaking of rain, when it does come down here, it’s almost a flash flood. The thunderstorms are wicked because it’s so hot and somewhat humid so when there’s a storm, it rages. When it does, don’t expect your cell phone or satellite tv to work, either. {Hey - this is South Africa! One thing at a time, ok? Right now, you’re getting a wicked thunderstorm. When that’s finished, you’ll get your tv back. And then maybe after some though, your cell will work. But DON’T push it, foreigner-lady.}

You know, I was a little upset that I hadn’t made it to South Africa in January as I had planned because there was all this crap with Globe going on that I had to stay and resolve. So when I arrived finally in February, everyone told me that they had never experienced a month of rain like they had experienced in January. Almost every day – rain and severe thunderstorms. For me, it’s one of those things that allows me to look back and say ‘Thanks God. I wondered why you delayed me. But now I got the point of that one’. It’s a rare occurence, but nice when it happens.

P.S. are you wondering why there can be record rain in Joburg and severe drought 6 hours south of here in the Eastern Cape? Answer: climate change. Oh, I do hope I get to meet with the UN in Nairobi! It’s an experience I will gladly pay for.

Hugs, Lisa